I went from feeling like my childhood was hard because of racism, to feeling like my childhood was hard because of my adoption.
It’s taken me a long time to sit down and write this, and as I do so, I find myself flooded with emotions and moments I have honestly tried to push aside during the past two and a half months.
Today is May 1st, and boy do I feel like May is a loaded month–this year in particular.
May is Asian Pacific American Heritage Month (APAHM). It is also Jewish American Heritage Month. May 9th is Mother’s Day. And this May is the month I will give birth to my first child.
Not surprisingly, all of the above things are really blending and meshing together into one very complicated, mixed up ball of emotions.
We are happy to announce that Baby R’s name is…
Just kidding! Sorry, but you all are going to need to wait until the little one makes her appearance earthside to find out what her name is.
But in all seriousness, I knew that the business of naming your child was probably not something to be taken lightly. However, I didn’t know how many feelings and emotions it would bring up as a transracial adoptee parent.
I can’t believe that I’m already in the third trimester! Unlike the first, I feel like the second trimester just flew by! Between the holidays and all of the nesting, it seems like I blinked and suddenly I’m at 28 weeks. While this trimester has definitely been easier and more fun, it’s still had some challenges that warranted these absolute necessities!
Naturally, when I found out that we were expecting, I did what most scholars do–I hit the books. I’ve read and researched several different birthing methods and parenting styles from hypnobirthing to Montessori. I’ve read about breastfeeding, baby-led weaning, and all that’s inbetween. However, over the course of my pregnancy for the last six months, the most valuable information I’ve learned has been that which is not found in books. It is the information that one merely learns through experience, and I’d like to share what I’ve come to love and embrace about pregnancy.
Well, I’m a little bit more than halfway through my pregnancy with our little girl! With only fifteen weeks to go, I’ve really started taking a look at some of my own personal habits. What do I already do that will serve me well once she arrives? What do I not do so well that I need to get better at in order to be the best mom I can be? After a lot of soul-searching and much trial and error, here are the top 5 habits I think every mom can work to establish before her baby comes!
I will preface this entry with the fact that we are absolutely over the moon to be expecting our little girl. We wanted to become parents, and at the end of the day, I wouldn’t re-do or change anything about this pregnancy. However, there have been some significant challenges and feelings as a result of being pregnant in the middle of a global pandemic, and that’s the bulk of what I am choosing to focus on here because I know that there are other “pandemic moms” out there who are experiencing similar things.
2020 brough many unexpected surprises, some welcome and some not so welcome. By the time August rolled around I had retreated into my hole while I tried to process the facts that we were separating children from their parents at the border, people still weren’t understanding that Black Lives Matter, we were in the middle of a global pandemic that our President was still calling “The Chinese Virus,” and that my state was literally on fire and burning out of control. Needless to say, the thought that I could be pregnant was not even remotely on my radar.
It seems like every woman you know of child-bearing age is suddenly pregnant. The women in your life who are on child two or three keep mentioning that when you are expecting, they have a whole garage full of baby supplies that they can offload on you. It feels like every conversation at lunch is centered around stories of spit up, sleep training, daycare, and scraped knees. The baby-making universe becomes a plague forcing you to catch baby fever.