I will preface this entry with the fact that we are absolutely over the moon to be expecting our little girl. We wanted to become parents, and at the end of the day, I wouldn’t re-do or change anything about this pregnancy. However, there have been some significant challenges and feelings as a result of being pregnant in the middle of a global pandemic, and that’s the bulk of what I am choosing to focus on here because I know that there are other “pandemic moms” out there who are experiencing similar things.
There is a magical weightlessness that comes with the word, “enough.” In some contexts it means the stopping of something in an attempt to not overwhelm. Otherwise it simply means “as much or as many as required.” Either way, it signifies that there is no need for more. It is all that’s needed, just as it stands.
We create and cling to routines because they provide a sense of order, a feeling of normalcy. Above everything else, routines are how we attempt to control the tiniest bits of our lives in an often chaotic world.
It goes without saying that the past few weeks of social distancing and sheltering in place have been hard on everyone. As much as we try to maintain routine, stay positive, and tell ourselves “this too shall pass,” many are starting to feel the weight of having our worlds rocked so suddenly.
Seeing myself wearing this fabric mask makes it impossible for me to maintain that distance and has created a complex, complicated inner-conversation. On the one had, I am still assimilating by wearing a mask just like everyone else in America. On the other, by doing so, I embody a stereotype of Asians that so many in the world despise.