If this blog entry reads as angry, frustrated, or desperate–it’s because it is. I am. I feel as though I have been screaming my entire life and my screams have been silenced or quantified as a direct result of being an adoptee.
People don’t understand what it is like, and I suppose I don’t expect them to because I’ve never come flat out and said some of these things, but I am going to now. I am going to now so there is no question, and in the hopes that anyone who reads this will reflect and can no longer feign ignorance.
There was also a part of me that felt like giving our daughter a Korean middle name might impose too much “Koreanness” on her. At the time, I was really struggling with the fact that she was going to have nods to Asian features, and I think that the protective side of me wanted to shield her from any adversity that could potentially come from acknowledging her Korean heritage. I also sort of felt like an imposter giving her a Korean middle name. Who was I to give a child a name from a culture I grew up so divorced from and had only recently begun to reconnect with?
Just kidding! Sorry, but you all are going to need to wait until the little one makes her appearance earthside to find out what her name is.
But in all seriousness, I knew that the business of naming your child was probably not something to be taken lightly. However, I didn’t know how many feelings and emotions it would bring up as a transracial adoptee parent.
I can’t believe that I’m already in the third trimester! Unlike the first, I feel like the second trimester just flew by! Between the holidays and all of the nesting, it seems like I blinked and suddenly I’m at 28 weeks. While this trimester has definitely been easier and more fun, it’s still had some challenges that warranted these absolute necessities!
Naturally, when I found out that we were expecting, I did what most scholars do–I hit the books. I’ve read and researched several different birthing methods and parenting styles from hypnobirthing to Montessori. I’ve read about breastfeeding, baby-led weaning, and all that’s inbetween. However, over the course of my pregnancy for the last six months, the most valuable information I’ve learned has been that which is not found in books. It is the information that one merely learns through experience, and I’d like to share what I’ve come to love and embrace about pregnancy.
Well, I’m a little bit more than halfway through my pregnancy with our little girl! With only fifteen weeks to go, I’ve really started taking a look at some of my own personal habits. What do I already do that will serve me well once she arrives? What do I not do so well that I need to get better at in order to be the best mom I can be? After a lot of soul-searching and much trial and error, here are the top 5 habits I think every mom can work to establish before her baby comes!
As a first time mom, I found myself researching everything I could to help get me through the first trimester. Every pregnancy is different, but these were some of my favorite products and tricks that got me through those rough three months.
Growing up as a Korean adoptee in the 90s, there were hardly any children’s books with protagonists that looked like me or that celebrated Korean culture. The one book my mom was able to find was The Korean Cinderella by Shirley Climo. I loved looking at the bright illustrations by Ruth Heller and imagining myself in the wedding hanbok that Cinderella wears at the end of the story. However, it wasn’t lost on me that this was not really a Korean story; it was a beautiful adaptation of a popular western fairytale.
While still near and dear to my heart because it was my one and only Korean-representation book as a child, I am very glad that my daughter is able to have these additional titles on her bookshelf!